Sunday, September 9, 2018

Step By Step, Rung By Rung

Reflection is such an important thing for me. Every day, when my day is over, I look back and see what I did and how I could do it differently. I'm not sure I've ever had a day that I thought I did everything perfectly. I'm usually very hard on myself. When I am alone with my thoughts, I have time to think about all the mistakes I made that day. It's a very difficult process I put myself through, but it makes me a better teacher.

The benefit of my job is I get to go back every day and do it again. If something didn't go well, I can try something else. If I didn't get to spend as much time with one of my students that I wanted to, the next day I can make up that time. It doesn't change the fact that every night, I feel a sense of guilt to SOMEONE.  The questions are always there:  Did I do enough for every child? 

The answer to that question will always be a big fat NO from me. I hope it is anyway. As hard as it is to come home and not feel like I gave every single kid my very best every day, it makes me want to get up and try even harder the next day. I feel like I have a purpose and drive. Every day will be better than the one before, and every day I will work harder than ever. 

In my head and my heart, I believe that's what drives me. Tomorrow I'll be better than ever! I wake up every day feeling positive. Some people don't believe in that, and some people aren't like that, but it's absolutely true for me. I walk into my classroom with intentions of the best day ever. 

When it's not the best day ever, I know in my mind and heart that there's always tomorrow to pick myself up and try it again. I owe it to those students to be the best I can be every single day. Some days I fall short. Some days I fail. Some days I even fall completely apart, and Mrs. Tadlock appears as if from nowhere with a cup of coffee and a bowl of chocolates. 

As I sit here and reflect on the last few days, I'm excited about another week.  Huey Lewis said it best in the song "Jacob's Ladder": All I want from tomorrow is to get it better than today. 

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